Welcome to Facets - 10

The Power of Words

One of the aspects of my work that I find most powerful and interesting is the impact of people's words on their thinking and actions. I've always been interested in learning foreign languages and mastering my own and feel very strongly about the power of words. People's choice of words when talking to me can reveal to me thier highest values, their fears and most importantly their beliefs. It's not only the choice of words but the tone and emphasis they place on certain words. Their choice of words when chatting to themselves (their internal dialogue) is also an important factor and I'm often able to pick up what sorts of things people must be saying to themselves, internally, by how they act. If someone tells me they want to create closer relationships with their loved ones or attract a special relationship and then in conversation repeatedly tell me about the many failings of their friends or relatives; or give me reasons why they like living alone and only having themselves to consider, it's quite clear that there is conflict between what they say they want and what they are open to having.

Think about the impact that words, either well chosen or hurtful, have had on you in the past. We all know someone who has the 'gift of the gab' a 'knack with words' is a 'wordsmith' or can 'cut you with their tongue'. Remember the rhyme when we were kids - sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me! How wrong is that? If you were ever teased as a child or called names you'll relate to how very hurtful words can be. Words can sting with judgement. They can caress our souls and be like music to our ears. They can be a weapon or a wand.

How we use words is our choice. Anyone who knows me well will know my preference is the wand. Even though I know I've used words poorly in my life, my aim is to choose words that create confidence, trust and an environment of hope and grace and kindness.

So, this months newsletter is designed to raise your awareness of the power of the spoken word. If you feel like being challenged and inspired with a whole new slant on choosing your words with great clarity and positive intention, fix yourself a soothing drink and take some time out of your normal day to join me on a conversational journey.

HINT of the month

Speak with good purpose only....

In Doug Boyd's book, Rolling Thunder, he explores the life of the Native American leader, Rolling Thunder, who is a guardian of a wealth of knowledge that has been passed down through countless generations. One of the many powerful lessons in the book is on the topic of taking responsibility for our thoughts and our words. I'd like to share his words of wisdom with you -

"People have to be responsible for their thoughts, so they have to learn to control them. It may not be easy, but it can be done. First of all, if we don't want to think certain things we don't say them. We don't have to eat everything we see, and we don't have to say everything we think. So we begin watching our words and speaking with good purpose only. There are times when we must have clear and pure minds with no unwanted thoughts and we have to train and prepare steadily for those times until we are ready. We don't have to say or think what we don't wish to. We have a choice in those things, and we have to realise that and practice using that choice. There is no use condemning yourself for the thoughts and ideas and dreams that come into your mind; so there's no use arguing with yourself or fighting your thoughts. Just realise that you can think what you choose. You don't have to pay attention to those unwanted thoughts. If they keep coming into your head, just let them alone and say, "I don't choose to have such thoughts," and they will soon go away. If you keep a steady determination and stick with that purpose you will know how to use that choice and control your consciousness so unwanted thoughts don't come to you anymore."

Start writing a daily journal.

I often ask my clients to keep a journal of their thoughts. To express themselves in a tangible way (onto paper) on a regular basis. This exercise is often recommended by therapists, counselors and even experienced writers aiming to encourage fledgling authors to develop the discipline of putting pen to paper in order to create good habits. It's an age old ritual for many and thankfully has allowed us to read into the thoughts and hearts of many an author or famous person who committed to the task. Keeping a Journal also helps us to discover the patterns in our thinking and in the words we choose. Once we become aware of the patterns, we can choose to make positive changes where necessary by changing our words and how we use them.

Resources & Recommendations -

The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary things - Larry Dossey M.D.
In this wonderfully written book we explore how simple things like Dirt, Music, Doing Nothing, Optimism, Risk, Unhappiness and even Bugs, have had and continue to have incredible healing powers. Larry Dossey brings together scientific data, information from classic literature and stories from all over the world, in order to build the case for the extraordinary healing powers of these ordinary things. As the former chief of staff at Medical City Dallas Hospital and cochair of the Panel on Mind/Body interventions, he brings to the page a wealth of professional experience and wisdom. I was very sad to finish this book as it was such a joy to read. I especially liked the chapter on Miracles and the scientific proof that they occur.

Your Word is your Wand - Florence Scovel Shinn

If you can manage to find a copy of this very old book, written in the 1920's it is well worth reading. Whilst the style is quaint and almost 'biblical' the message is extremely contemporary and powerful. We are exposed to the irresponsible use of words every day, in the media, at school and the office even in the doctor's office. There are words that can maim and words that can heal. Discover the difference.